As most of you know, I am training for my fifth marathon. It's November 7th in a little town in New York that some of you may be familiar with. Up to this point my training has gone swimmingly, maybe that should be runningly, since I don't swim particularly well. I knew there would be hiccups in my plan and am well aware that carrying my extremely large belly for 26.2 miles has always been my down fall. This time around, I fear the culprit could be the belly of someone else that ultimately fails me.
You see, this time around I not only have a running coach, I also have a boot camp instructor (strength coach). You may recall that a few posts back I had to apologize to her, because in my opinion, she grew larger each and every week. Turns out she's with child. My bad Mrs. Orange!!! Mrs. Orange's first name is actually Jacklin, (not really) and her significant others name is Justine (stage name at local strip bar). Let me just say, that the two make a beautiful couple and will both make great parents. I just hope that kid likes sumo squats and doing infinite sets of ab work. I also am confident that in no time this "Mini Sailor" will get her mom's Alma mater back into it's winning ways of days past.
Anywho... back to being selfish. It's seems "Mini Sailor" wants to make a guest appearance a little sooner than expected. Jacklin may have to spend time at home in bed eating Bon Bons, staying up late and watching Chelsea Lately on the boob tube.
Come on "Mini Sailor", give a fat man a break. Trust me, you want to stay in there as long as possible, ideally until the end of October. With your mother's help the past few months, I can almost see my feet now!!! I don't think I have the will power to do this alone Jacklin. I'm Weak!!! How about I set up a bed in the weight room, tape all the good late night shows and bring in some pickles and ice cream for you to enjoy while you continue to give me and the other losers direction? Sleep on it Jacklin!!! My future depends on it!!!
That's all for now!!! Run In Peace!!!
And in all seriousness to Jacklin, Justine and "Mini Sailor aka: Olivia, I wish you all the best!!!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Beach Run Observations!!!
Yesterday I had six miles on my running schedule to conquer. Instead of waking in the early morning hours, I decided to tag along with my wife and run in the summer beach run that the Manasota Track Club does on Siesta Beach at 6:30P.M. The Club has a 1 mile fun run first for the kids, then a longer run that varies each week for the parental unit type to run after. Last nights run was a 4 miler, so I decided to run a warm up mile before the kids fun run, then run the mile with the kids, and lastly the 4 miles with my peers. This last group is the one that I feel I need to discuss further with all of you.
After running the first two miles, I joined the mostly adult crowd at the start line for the 4 miler. While waiting for the horn to sound there is really nothing to do but observe the fellow runners, freaky freaks, that have gathered around my waiting space. The following are the two that stuck out to me the most.
#1. Dudes in compression shorts(only): You know who you are. Hi dudes in compression shorts, how are you doing? Never mind, we can all see how your doing... Literally!!! Isn't it ironic that the acronym for dudes in compression shorts is DICS??? O.K. DICS maybe I'm just a wee bit jealous that although I too wear compression shorts, I'm not as confident "down stairs" as you are, and prefer to wear shorts over the top of them. That may be the real reason DICS are #1 on my list.
#2. Dude with the butterfly tattoo on the small of his back: Don't get me wrong it was sexy!!! It probably would have done more for me if it were, oh I don't know, on a WOMEN!!! Seriously, how drunk do you have to be to decide that this was a good idea? Was there a wager for a large sum of money that you just could not say no to? I mean really man, I tried to figure out how your wife or girlfriend would enjoy your body art. I mean during "business time" with her how does she even see it? Wait a minute, now I get it my friend, as you can see I'm a little slow!!! Let me end by letting you know I find your tat "Fierce". Party on girlfriend.
With that I'm out home fries!!! Remember to hydrate out there, and Run In Peace!!!
After running the first two miles, I joined the mostly adult crowd at the start line for the 4 miler. While waiting for the horn to sound there is really nothing to do but observe the fellow runners, freaky freaks, that have gathered around my waiting space. The following are the two that stuck out to me the most.
#1. Dudes in compression shorts(only): You know who you are. Hi dudes in compression shorts, how are you doing? Never mind, we can all see how your doing... Literally!!! Isn't it ironic that the acronym for dudes in compression shorts is DICS??? O.K. DICS maybe I'm just a wee bit jealous that although I too wear compression shorts, I'm not as confident "down stairs" as you are, and prefer to wear shorts over the top of them. That may be the real reason DICS are #1 on my list.
#2. Dude with the butterfly tattoo on the small of his back: Don't get me wrong it was sexy!!! It probably would have done more for me if it were, oh I don't know, on a WOMEN!!! Seriously, how drunk do you have to be to decide that this was a good idea? Was there a wager for a large sum of money that you just could not say no to? I mean really man, I tried to figure out how your wife or girlfriend would enjoy your body art. I mean during "business time" with her how does she even see it? Wait a minute, now I get it my friend, as you can see I'm a little slow!!! Let me end by letting you know I find your tat "Fierce". Party on girlfriend.
With that I'm out home fries!!! Remember to hydrate out there, and Run In Peace!!!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Half of the year review!!!
In true procrastinators fashion, I'm giving my huge reading audience a review of the first half of 2010 about one month late. Let's get right to the digits!!!
Training days: 117, Miles ran to date: 793.05, Training time: 140 hours, Calories burned: 109,163, Average speed: 5.7 mph, Average heart rate 126 bpm. Marathon's run 2, Half's 2, 5Ks 2.
I'm fairly satisfied with my training so far this year. The first three months I was racing like a mad man, in an attempt to run a sub-4hr. marathon. To no avail, I might add. At the end of March, burnt out from marathon training, I decided to re-evaluate my training. My running pace seemed to be fine, but something was holding me back from becoming a better runner. I discussed this with my running coach and together we came up with a new plan. It's a 3 tier plan.
First, I weighed myself. I expected that my weight would be some where around the two and a quarter mark, as it had been for most of 2009. If anything it would probably be a little less, having just ran 3 marathons and 2 half marathons in the past 4 months. Imagine my surprise when I first stepped on that scale to see 236 pounds!!! Holy Shit Bat Man!!! Obviously you can't eat anything you want just because you run. I must get to 200 pounds, or lower before my next marathon in November. So far so good, presently I'm at 213.5 pounds. That's 23 pounds!!! Suck It Jenny Craig!!!
The second thing I needed to do was build a better running base. I am doing this by using a heart rate monitor for the first time. I will tell you, at first this drove me crazy because it felt like I started running all over again. The paces I ran for the first couple of months were very slow, in fact some of my training runs were actually training walks. Recently, I adjusted my heart rate zones and I'm now just about back to my normal pace. I do feel that this slow progression has made me a better runner. It's probably too early to tell, but I can tell you I no longer sound like a Sleestack when I do intervals, or tempo runs.
Lastly, but not least. I must start attending boot camps twice a week. This will give me some much needed core and upper body work that I was definitely lacking. I was also told that it would be in my best interest to find an instructor that is very pregnant and seems to have a personnel vendetta on all things possessing a penis. Strangely, this was not as hard to find as one would think. I kid, honestly this has helped a great deal. I know under my remaining 12" of blubber there are some abs of steel ready to be unearthed any year now.
Well, I guess that's all for now... to all my fellow runners R.I.P!!!
Training days: 117, Miles ran to date: 793.05, Training time: 140 hours, Calories burned: 109,163, Average speed: 5.7 mph, Average heart rate 126 bpm. Marathon's run 2, Half's 2, 5Ks 2.
I'm fairly satisfied with my training so far this year. The first three months I was racing like a mad man, in an attempt to run a sub-4hr. marathon. To no avail, I might add. At the end of March, burnt out from marathon training, I decided to re-evaluate my training. My running pace seemed to be fine, but something was holding me back from becoming a better runner. I discussed this with my running coach and together we came up with a new plan. It's a 3 tier plan.
First, I weighed myself. I expected that my weight would be some where around the two and a quarter mark, as it had been for most of 2009. If anything it would probably be a little less, having just ran 3 marathons and 2 half marathons in the past 4 months. Imagine my surprise when I first stepped on that scale to see 236 pounds!!! Holy Shit Bat Man!!! Obviously you can't eat anything you want just because you run. I must get to 200 pounds, or lower before my next marathon in November. So far so good, presently I'm at 213.5 pounds. That's 23 pounds!!! Suck It Jenny Craig!!!
The second thing I needed to do was build a better running base. I am doing this by using a heart rate monitor for the first time. I will tell you, at first this drove me crazy because it felt like I started running all over again. The paces I ran for the first couple of months were very slow, in fact some of my training runs were actually training walks. Recently, I adjusted my heart rate zones and I'm now just about back to my normal pace. I do feel that this slow progression has made me a better runner. It's probably too early to tell, but I can tell you I no longer sound like a Sleestack when I do intervals, or tempo runs.
Lastly, but not least. I must start attending boot camps twice a week. This will give me some much needed core and upper body work that I was definitely lacking. I was also told that it would be in my best interest to find an instructor that is very pregnant and seems to have a personnel vendetta on all things possessing a penis. Strangely, this was not as hard to find as one would think. I kid, honestly this has helped a great deal. I know under my remaining 12" of blubber there are some abs of steel ready to be unearthed any year now.
Well, I guess that's all for now... to all my fellow runners R.I.P!!!
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