I know all my readers have been waiting to hear how the 5K went last Friday. Did I go fast? How does first overall male sound bitches? You heard right!!! Do you seriously still doubt me??? You can go here, http://www.girlsincsrq.org/ for further proof. Now that being a champion and "the one to catch" during races has finally soaked in, I thought I may share my tale of victory with my mere mortal readers.
It was hotter than a fox farting in a forest fire, as I arrived for the Girls On The Run 5K on Siesta Beach on Friday night. I began my pre-race routine of stretching, light jogging and visiting the restroom to rid myself of unnecessary baggage. I also used this time to size up my competition, which tonight looked liked a who's who of running pros. Just looking at the ferocity and hunger in many of the other runners eyes sent me on yet another trip to the restroom to calm my nerves.
A gentlemen soon announced that the runners needed to get in place for the beginning of the race. I positioned myself at the start line right behind a young female that looked like she may have ran before. The horn sounded and we were off. Much to my surprise after the first quarter of a mile there were only two people in front of me, a guy and the young female. I headed south down the beach side by side by some 16 year old punk. The heat was excruciating, my body was ready to quit. Being the champion that I am, I willed my body to keep the pace. Soon another young lady passed me and the 16 year old punk. At the 1st mile I began to catch the young lady and guy in front of me, the young punk began to fade. Right before the turn around I passed the guy and caught the young lady. The leader, (original young female) was already about a quarter of a mile ahead of us. That was the last time we would see her, however a new competitor arrived in the form of my red headed cousin, (RHC) for short.
About the 2 mile mark the young lady and my RHC were right in front of me. I decided to stay close behind and see what the two of them had left. My RHC started to struggle and the young lady began to pull away, I knew I needed to stay right behind her and wait for my opportunity to strike. The final stretch of the race was on loose sand and knew with my superior down force I would have the advantage. We hit the final stretch simultaneously and I made my move. As predicted, the young lady struggled to get footing and I motored by her. The crowd noise was deafening as I crossed the finish line. How I love the thrill of victory!!!
And what does an elite runner get for being the first male, (which is really the winner anyways, I mean didn't we have to give up a rib or something to create women???) to cross the finish line? A free pair of New Balance shoes!!! Not too shabby!!!
Now go run in peace my fellow, but way slower, running friends!!!
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